Even in the Craziness of Impatience, Doubt – and COVID – God Somehow Shows UP

I’m not a very good Christian – never have been.

I can often act like a fool. Impatience gets the best of me – fear, too.

So many of the trappings of church – even the language of the church – annoy me. If God judges us based on church attendance and daily Bible readings and even pureness of thought, I am, to put it spiritually, screwed.

And yet, I can sometimes see glimpses of God all around. He does show up.

Photo by Alena Koval on Pexels.com

This morning, God was in an online church service.

I smiled broadly as I saw my friends log on and comment, too. “Hi. Thank you for being here. It’s good to see you.”

He sat with us after the service in our living room, when the dogs paced and I quietly asked my little family, “Hey. What are you learning right now? What does this all mean and how will we be changed?” He was there in the tears that followed – tears of mourning and of conviction, of peace and of gratitude, and sadness and hope, too.

A little later, he was in a long walk, with Queen playing on repeat as drops of rain hit my cheeks. My neighbors of all ages were out, too, riding bikes and running or walking, nodding. I smiled at them, and at their newly planted flowers, small but powerful acts of radical hope:

‘Cause love’s such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care for
The people on the edge of the night
And love (people on streets) dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves
This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves under pressure
Under pressure
Pressure

I’m a lousy Christian, but I’m glad God decided to show up today, anyway.

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